What the Enneagram 7 Looks Like in Stress
Sevens are the free-spirited, fun loving, enthusiasts of the enneagram. They can quickly become proficient in almost anything they set their mind to, and they are unrivaled when it comes to the ability to have a good time. Their friends love them for their quick-witted humor, positive energy, and childlike sense of wonder. But being a seven is not all happy feelings and good times. Just as with any number on the enneagram, they have a dark side. When in stress and disintegration, the normally happy-go-lucky, carefree sevens spiral into a more unhealthy and sometimes unrecognizable version of their type. As told by a lifelong enneagram seven, here is what they look like in stress:
1) Hedonistic
Whether it be a leisurely night out or a spontaneous ice cream run with friends, sevens love a good time. In fact, sometimes they love a good time a little too much. Sevens prove the saying right that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. When in stress, they attempt to ignore that stress by engaging in self-indulging, gluttonous behavior. Driven by the fear of having to sit with their negative emotions, unhealthy sevens resort to overeating, excessive shopping, gambling, substance abuse, and socializing to the point of near exhaustion. In their eyes, anything that makes them happy should be done without question — and done over and over again.
2) Impulsive
Sevens thrive off of spontaneity. Nothing excites them more than decisions made on a whim and adventures partaken with no prior planning. However, sevens in stress take this spontaneity to an extreme measure. They break the bank with large impulse purchases, endanger friendships by speaking without thinking, and make permanent life changes on the spur of the moment. Their “fun now; think later” attitude can come back to bite them if they do not have the proper self-control or support system to keep them from hurting themselves with their own impulsivity.
3) Escapist
Nothing terrifies sevens more than the thought of being trapped in negativity. For this reason, when the metaphorical poop hits the fan, their first impulse is not to work through the problem. It is to escape the problem. Rather than work through their issues, they try to outrun them using movies, social media, fun events, music, alcohol, substances, food, and other escapist methods in order to avoid negative feelings.
4.) Flighty
Sevens are obsessed with novelty. They love new restaurants, new locations, new experiences, and new people. They are infatuated with anything exciting and shiny. Healthy sevens are able to balance this love of novelty with a commitment to their prior interests, occupations, and relationships. Unhealthy sevens not so much. They bounce from new hobby to hobby, place to place, person to person. Their closest friends can feel abandoned as they pursue new, shinier relationships and interests to distract them from their problems.
5.) Perfectionistic
Each number on the enneagram has a “stress point,” or other number they display the unhealthy characteristics of when they are in disintegration. The seven’s stress point is the enneagram one. This means that if they disintegrate enough they will display the negative characteristics of a one. Ones are known as the “perfectionists.” They are idealistic, disciplined, and organized at their best but self-critical, resentful, and uptight at their worst. Unhealthy sevens take on the one’s harsh perfectionism as they become obsessed with getting every detail right and refuse to allow themselves to make mistakes. Their normally carefree attitude is replaced by a one-ish critical, uptight, obsessive perusal of perfection.
6) Self Critical
The unrealistic standard of perfection held by sevens in disintegration quickly leads to extreme self-criticism when they fail to live up to their own impossible expectations. As they fail their unrealistic standards of perfection, they become more and more self-critical and self-loathing, beating themselves up for every small mistake. Their usual “live and let live” mentality is replaced by thoughts of “why can’t I do anything right”, “I mess everything up”, and “what’s wrong with me?”. These self critical thoughts can feel alien to sevens, who are not used to beating themselves up over mistakes or sweating the small things.
7) Pessimistic
Sevens seek the positive in every situation and are known as the “optimists”, making resorting to pessimism a true sign that they are struggling. At the height of their disintegration, they will start to lose their optimistic, rose-tinted way of seeing the world and pick out flaws in themselves and others instead. They become disconnected from their unsinkable sense of hope and become irritable, grumpy, and bad-natured. To make things worse, they often feel guilty for acting downcast, as their friends and family are used to them being a source of humor and levity rather than pessimism.
8) Tips For the 7 In Stress
If there is one thing sevens are good at, it is bouncing back from negative situations. However, as we have seen, they do not always cope in the healthiest way. Here are a few ways to slow down and readjust as a seven in stress:
Talk to a close friend-When in stress sevens can be tempted to abandon their established connections and move on to newer, more exciting relationships. But this is precisely when it is the most important for them to slow down and fall back on close friends and family.
Take things off your plate-Sevens will almost never turn down an exciting new possibility. For this reason, they often end up overwhelmed due to overcommitment and overexertion. They need to assess what in their life is truly important to them and what is nothing more than shiny distracting white noise.
See a therapist-It can be hard for sevens to admit the reality of negative situations. However, if their mental health is a concern or they need a safe space to talk things out, they need to fight their urge to shrug off their negative emotions and reach out to get the support they need.
