7 Struggles of Having ADHD
ADHD is a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it gives increased creativity, a new way of seeing the world, and at times hyperfocus. I wouldn’t get rid of my ADHD even if it were possible. On the other hand, there are some serious struggles associated with the disorder and it should not be romanticized. From someone who has lived with it their whole life, here are 7 struggles of having ADHD.
(A quick reminder that this is in no way a substitute for a diagnosis. This is just me sharing my experiences. If you suspect you have ADHD see a trained medical professional, which I am clearly not.)
Saying Things That Don’t Make Sense
Conversations for neurotypical people are somewhat straightforward. You find a topic of interest, stick to that topic, then eventually transition to a new topic. You start out talking about your favorite coffee shops and stay on that topic for a couple minutes, easy.
For someone with ADHD, however, things are not so cut and dry. You start out in a conversation about coffee shops, hear the phrase “coffee beans”, single out the word “beans”, zone out while wondering if beans grow on trees or bushes, conclude it has to be bushes because “Bush’s Baked Beans”, realize that “Bush’s Baked Beans” is alliteration because it has three B’s, and then blurting out, seemingly from nowhere “Guys, Bush’s Baked Beans is a pretty catchy name!” only to be met with confused stares.
It’s a serious struggle to say things in a conversation that make sense when you’re busy branching it off into hundreds of rabbit trails inside your head.
Being Rude in Hyperfocus
It’s a misconception that people with ADHD can’t focus. They actually can focus insanely well — when in hyperfocus. ADHD leaves you completely scattered and unfocused until something interests you enough to trigger hyperfoucs: a state of total focus and immersion. Once you are zoned in, your current activity claims the totality of your attention, leading to high levels of creativity and productivity.
But this comes at a price. It’s nearly impossible to multitask or think about more than one thing at once while in hyperfocus. It’s out of the question for you to engage in chit chat or even talk to someone while zoned in on a project, leading you to feel antisocial or rude while you are getting things done.\
One Little Thing Sends You Over
With ADHD, if you already have a lot on your plate, it can be overwhelming to add just one grain of rice to that metaphorical plate. For example, if you already have tax forms to fill out, dinner to cook, and an email to send, simply being asked to take out the trash can send you spiraling over the edge. You simply can’t keep up anymore.
These meltdowns can be triggered by even the smallest of trivialities. If already stressed, hearing a song playing in the other room, being asked a simple question, or seeing clutter on the counter can cause you to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. It can be disheartening to be constantly spun out of control by seemingly small and insignificant stimuli.
Having Trouble Tuning into the Real World
You can feel a little disconnected from the real world at times. The thoughts streaming through your own head can often feel more engaging and urgent than the events happening right under your nose.
Every time you try to pay attention to your surroundings or even just tune in to a conversation, it can feel like your brain is bombarding you with a completely unrelated and unhelpful news heading. It can be a challenge to get out of your head and into the world around you.
Not Being Taken Seriously
People with ADHD tend to be forgetful, scatterbrained, and a little bit ditzy. And while these qualities can be endearing, they make it a challenge to be taken seriously. After all, it is hard to reinforce your credibility as a leader when you constantly forget names and can never find your keys.
The ditziness that comes from having ADHD can give you a reputation for being “quirky” or “endearing”. But you can at times feel like the comic relief character that constantly makes careless mistakes and is not taken very seriously.
Seeming Uninterested in People
It’s easy to seem rude with ADHD. You blurt out things and talk over people. You zone out while others are talking. You forget to be on time for social events. You get sidetracked mid-conversation.
Others may not think that you respect them, when in reality you do. You care about the people around you, you just have a brain that makes it difficult to relate to neurotypical people without seeming fidgety or uninterested. You aren’t trying to be rude. You just wish people understood that it is a major challenge for you to stay on one line of thought for more than ten seconds.
Losing Track of Time
Time does not tend to make much sense to people with ADHD. It’s hard for you to keep track of deadlines or conceptualize how long you have to get ready before you need to leave for work. When lost in a project or engaged in hyperfocus, you tend to forget that time even exists at all. You spend just ten minutes on a project or in an interesting conversation then look up to see three hours have passed. It really is a struggle for your brain to wrap itself around the concept of time, and you lose track of it ridiculously easy.
